“For those who taped their blisters and kept their mouths shut.”
Few mortals will ever know what it means to row with your crew at six in the morning, cutting through a sleeping world, under the gaze of the stars, crossing the Milky Way with a flow that moves through everything—a silent communion with the gods.
—anonymous rower One of us
Because dawn comes wet and aching, because the bourbon’s gone, because the pharmacy’s closed but the wound’s still open.
Because men were built for trenches, but the world gave them desks. So they fight the river instead— something that fights back.
Because the mirror shows a stranger, so they turn to the water, where the reflection moves but never lies.
Because the office is a coffin, the highway a funeral march, and the therapist’s clock ticks louder than the heart.
The boat doesn’t love you. Good. Love would soften your hands. It only asks: Can you bleed and still pull?
Because the river doesn’t care about your divorce, your debt, your father’s silence. It only cares if you can dig deep when the oar bites.
Because pain is the last thing that still feels honest. Because a perfect stroke —just one— feels like God nodding Okay. You’re still here.
The water takes your youth, your knees, your excuses, and gives back the only truth that matters: You are weak. You are strong. You are not dead yet.
Men row because the world tries to drown them slowly. So they drown themselves first— in sweat, in river, in the burn— just to remember what it’s like to rise.
—anonymous rower One of us
To the oars, my brothers— like muskets and dueling pistols, like the last dry powder before the charge.
Listen— the cocking of oars at the catch, like a firing squad at dawn.
The water demands tribute, and we’ve memorized the manual of suffering: Catch. Drive. Recover. Reload.
To the oars, condemned men. The charge is damp. The bayonet's dull. Victory’s a hangman’s wink. Row like you mean to strangle the current.
The water is here. Waiting. Like it always does. And we’re resolved.
—anonymous rower One of us
Your lungs shred like wet paper.
The finish line doesn't come closer— it stretches,
like a nightmare trying to outrun itself.
And you can't see the finish line...
Welcome to the Dark
Each breath a drowning
Nightmare's got you in its gut.
And it's still digesting.
—anonymous rower One of us
When you thought you ain’t got no more
when you thought empty was empty the sweet call of the sirens and the boat that moves— One!
The first stroke jerks your back like a curse you begged for. And with the snap—There goes pride.
Turns out you weren't pulling shit before this.
2! Lactic acid baptizes your veins in gasoline.
3! Shut that hell up!
4! Now we’re moving! It’s a funeral march
5! We’re in deep kimchi and the cox just found another gear.
6!
7! What minor deity did I pissed off this last week?
8! Regrets
9!
10! The finish line is close— not a ribbon waiting, but a noose finally tight.
Oh thank God—wait, the cox just called POWER 10 IN 2!
“GENTLEMEN!—ALL LEGS THIS TIME!”
—anonymous rower One of us
I came to Kick Ass
or
to get wrecked
Either way it’s going to be ugly.
—bring the chaos!
—anonymous rower One of us
I watched a 1966 interview with George Yeomans Pocock. When asked why the U.S. team had been losing in recent years, he said:
“They’re a little afraid to cut loose in the first 500.”
So put your lungs on the altar, and ROW.
Row like the devil’s on your stern.
Make them wish they’d never lined up.
Go ACR!
—anonymous rower One of us
It’s 3:45 AM
The water is calm
76 degrees
No wind
All good
But is 3:45 AM
quite and the bed is warm.
But warmness kills you
It’s either sweat or rust. Steel or rot.
your call.
Feet hit the ground. Concrete truth. Bones awake.
Welcome to the grind. The war starts here. Take the oars. Earn your air.
—anonymous rower One of us
The mouth runs dry quick. There isn’t enough saliva to sustain the lie that this won’t hurt. And still — you line up.
The first goddamn 30 strokes?
That’s where souls are measured. Where lungs don’t ask questions — they just burn. Where the blade either bites or skips, and the boat doesn’t give a damn which.
It’s not rhythm. It’s not grace. It’s a bar fight — and your oar is a broken bottle.
Row like you owe someone money. Row like your old man’s watching. Row like the devil’s leaning on your bow ball, grinning.
The first 30 strokes don’t win the race. But they sure as hell decide who belongs.
And then— just when your eyes blur, and the sweat runs cold, you look up and remember:
It’s a 5000 meter race. You just got the boat moving. And now, you’ve got to die slowly... for another 19 minutes.
There’s no finish line — just pain management.
So rip. Rip like you mean it. And pray there’s enough soul left to survive the rest.
—anonymous rower One of us